mmmmmmMm:mm^^^^ 


AWAKENING 


By  TEE  SAME  AUTHOR 

VILLA   RCBEfN,  and  Other  StoriM 

THE    ISLAND    PHARISEES 

THE   MAN    OF    PROPERTY 

THE   CODNTRT   HOUSE 

FRATERNITY 

THE    PATRICIAN 

THE   DARK    FLOWER 

THE   FREELANDS 

BEYOND 

FIVE   TALES 

BAINT's    PROGRESS 

TATTERDEMALION 

IN   CHANCERY 

A   COMMENTARY 

A   MOTLEY 

THE   INN    OP  TRANQUILLITY 

THE    LITTLE    MAN,  and  Other  Satire* 

A   SHEAF 

ANOTHER    SHEAF 

ADDRESSES   IN    AMERICA'.    1919 


plays:  first  series 

and  Separateli/ 
THE   SILVER   BOX 
JOY 
STRIFE 

PliAYS:    SECOND    SERIES 

uttd  Separately 

THE   ELDEST   SON 
THE    LITTLE    DREAM 
JUSTICE 

plays:   THIRD   SERIES 

atid  Sepamulif 

THE    FUGITIVE 
THE    PIGEON 
THE   MOB 

PliAYS:    FOURTH   SERIES 

and  Separately 

A   BIT   O'    LOVE 
THE    FOUNDATIONS 
THE   SKIN    GAME 


UOODS,    SONGS,    AND    DOGGERELS 
MEMORIES.      Illustrated. 
AWAKENOTQ 


r-^^ 


^-^^ 


WaK^N  i  H  HI 

I  III!  II  mini  I  Vi 


BY 


John  CaspSworthy 

ibbvsrRnrED -Oi^  -5^    ,  by. 


** 


Sf  Ne\./  York  /^ 

LHARLES  bCRfBMER'S  SoNa 


Copyright,  1920,  by  CHARLES  SCRIBNER'S  SONS 
PubUshed  October,  1920 


SRCE 
URL 


QHROUGH  the  massive  skylight 
illuminating  the  hall  at  Robin  Hill, 
the  July  sunlight  at  five  o'clock 
fell  just  where  the  broad  stairway 
turned;  and  in  that  radiant  streak  little  Jon 
Forsyte   stood,    blue-linen-suited.     His    hair 


6  AWAKENING 

was  shining,  and  his  eyes,  from  beneath  a 
frown,  for  he  was  considering  how  to  go 
downstairs,  this  last  of  innumerable  times, 
before  the  car  brought  his  father  and  mother 
home.  Four  at  a  time,  and  five  at  the  bottom? 
Stale!  Down  the  banisters?  But  in  which 
fashion?  On  his  face,  feet  foremost?  Very 
stale.  On  his  stomach,  sideways?  Paltry! 
On  his  back,  with  his  arms  stretched  down  on 
both  sides?  Forbidden!  Or  on  his  face, 
head  foremost,  in  a  manner  unknown  as  yet 
to  any  but  himself?  Such  was  the  cause  of 
the  frown  on  the  illuminated  face  of  little 
Jon.  .  .  . 

In  that  Summer  of  1909  the  simple  souls 
who  even  then  desired  to  simplify  the  English 
tongue,  had,  of  course,  no  cognizance  of  little 
Jon,  or  they  would  have  claimed  him  for  a 
disciple.  But  one  can  be  too  simple  in  this 
life,  for  his  real  name  was  Jolyon,  and  his 
living  father  and  dead  half-brother  had  usurped 
of  old  the  other  shortenings,  Jo  and  Jolly.  As 
a  fact  little  Jon  had  done  his  best  to  conform 
to  convention  and  spell  himself  first  Jhon, 
then  John;  not  till  his  father  had  explained 
,^      A     the  sheer  necessity,  had  he  spelled  his  name 


AWAKENING 


Up  till  now  that  father  had  possessed  what 
was  left  of  his  heart  by  the  groom,  Bob,  who 
played  the  concertina,  and  his  nurse  "  Da," 
who  wore  the  violet  dress  on  Sundays,  and 
enjoyed  the  name  of  Spraggins  in  that  private 
life  lived  at  odd  moments  even  by  domestic 
servants.  His  mother  had  only  appeared  to 
him,  as  it  were,  in  dreams,  smelling  delicious, 
smoothing  his  forehead  just  before  he  fell 
asleep,  and  sometimes  docking  his  hair,  of  a 
golden  brown  colour.  When  he  cut  his  head 
open  against  the  nursery  fender  she  was  there 
to  be  bled  over;  and  when  he  had  nightmare 
she  would  sit  on  his  bed  and  cuddle  his  head 
against  her  neck.  She  was  precious  but  re- 
mote, because  "Da"  was  so  near,  and  there 
is  hardly  room  for  more  than  one  woman  at  a 


wlio  ]>lar«l  1E«  concertina. 


/   r 


8 


AWAKENING 


time  in  a  man's  heart.  With  his  father,  too, 
of  course,  he  had  special  bonds  of  union;  for 
little  Jon  also  meant  to  be  a  painter  when  he 
grew  up — with  the  one  small  difference,  that 
his  father  painted  pictures,  and  little  Jon 
intended  to  paint  ceilings  and  walls,  standing 
on  a  board  between  two  step  ladders,  in  a 
dirty-white  apron,  and  a  lovely  smell  of  white- 
wash. His  father  also  took  him  riding  in 
Richmond  Park,  on  his  pony,  Mouse,  so-called 
because  it  was  so-coloured. 

Little  Jon  had  been  born  with  a  silver  spoon 
in  a  mouth  which  was  rather  curly  and 
large.  He  had  never  heard  his  father  or  his 
mother  speak  in  an  angry  voice,  either  to  each 
other,  himself,  or  anybody  else;  the  groom, 
Bob,  the  cook,  Jane,  Bella  and  the  other 
servants,  even  "  Da,"  who  alone  restrained 
him  in  his  courses,  had  special  voices  when 
they  talked  to  him.  He  was  therefore  of 
opinion  that  the  world  was  a  place  of  perfect 
and  perpetual  gentility  and  freedom. 

A  child  of  1 90 1,  he  had  come  to  conscious- 
ness when  his  country,  just  over  that  bad 
attack  of  scarlet  fever,  the  Boer  War,  was 
preparing  for  the  Liberal  revival  of  1906. 
Coercion  was  unpopular,  parents  had  exalted 


WHITEWASH. 
•      C15TERN  .      °4 


O0«O*««*'t4fO^ 


AWAKENING 


'^^^^^^^^^^  A 


notions  of  giving  their  offspring  a  good  time. 
Tiiey  spoiled  their  rods,  spared  their  children, 
and  anticipated  the  results  with  enthusiasm. 
In  choosing,  moreover,  for  his  father  an 
amiable  man  of  fifty-two,  who  had  already 
lost  an  only  son,  and  for  his  mother  a  woman 
of  thirty-eight,  whose  first  and  only  child  he 
was,  little  Jon  had  done  well  and  wisely. 
What  had  saved  him  from  becoming  a  cross 


^jaJiBiii 


Ind  4  lovtly   swt.lt 


lO 


AWAKENING 


irv 


srr^; 


between  a  lap  dog  and  a  little  prig,  had  been 
his  father's  adoration  of  his  mother,  for  even 
little  Jon  could  see  that  she  was  not  merely 
just  his  mother,  and  that  he  played  second 
fiddle  to  her  in  his  father's  heart.  What  he 
played  in  his  mother's  heart  he  knew  not  yet. 
As  for  "Auntie"  June,  his  half-sister  (but  so 
old  that  she  had  grown  out  of  the  relationship) 
she  loved  him,  of  course,  but  was  too  sudden. 
His  devoted  "  Da,"  too,  had  a  Spartan  touch. 
His  bath  was  cold  and  his  knees  were  bare; 
he  was  not  encouraged  to  be  sorry  for  himself. 
As  to  the  vexed  question  of  his  education, 
little  Jon  shared  the  theory  of  those  who  con- 
sidered that  children  should  not  be  forced. 
He  rather  liked  the  Mademoiselle  who  came 
for  two  hours  every  morning  to  teach  him 
her  language,  together  with  history,  geography 
and  sums ;  nor  were  the  piano  lessons  which 
his  mother  gave  him  disagreeable,  for  she  had 
a  way  of  luring  him  from  tune  to  tune,  never 
making  him  practise  one  which  did  not  give 
him  pleasure,  so  that  he  remained  eager  to 
convert  ten  thumbs  into  eight  fingers.  Under 
his  father  he  learned  to  draw  pleasure-pigs 
and  other  animals.  He  was  not  a  highly 
educated  little  boy.    Yet,  on  the  whole,  the 


Hia  Ua1B  Kas   oH 


AWAKENING  ii 

silver  spoon  stayed  in  his  mouth  without 
spoiling  it,  though  "  Da"  sometimes  said  that 
other  children  would  do  him  a  "  world  of 
good." 

It  was  a  disillusionment,  then,  when  at  the 
age  of  nearly  seven  she  held  him  down  on  his 
back,  because  he  wanted  to  do  something  of 
which  she  did  not  approve.  This  first  inter- 
ference with  the  free  individualism  of  a  Forsyte 
drove  him  almost  frantic.  There  was  some- 
thing appalling  in  the  utter  helplessness  of 
that  position,  and  the  uncertainty  as  to  whether 
it  would  ever  come  to  an  end.  Suppose  she 
never  let  him  get  up  any  more !  He  suffered 
torture  at  the  top  of  his  voice  for  fifty  seconds. 
Worse  than  anything  was  his  perception  that 
"  Da  "  had  taken  all  that  time  to  realise  the 
agony  of  fear  he  was  enduring.  Thus,  dread- 
fully, was  revealed  to  him  the  lack  of  imagina- 
tion in  the  human  being !  When  he  was  let 
up  he  remained  convinced  that  "  Da  "  had 
done  a  dreadful  thing.  Though  he  did  not 
wish  to  bear  witness  against  her,  he  had  been 
compelled,  by  fear  of  repetition,  to  seek  his 
mother  and  say:  "Mum,  don't  let  'Da' 
hold  me  down  on  my  back  again." 

His  mother,  her  hands  held  up  over  her 


'"Rathnrio 


tnft  6  —• 


V 
df 


.^•^ 


,,,eCT^5°"'^^"M(f^^^ 


.«vV 


■s>] 


>/£ 


It 
t 


\ 


12       AWAKENING 

head,  and  in  them  two  plaits 
of  hair — "  couleiir  de  feuille 
morfe"  as  little  Jon  had  not 
yet  learned  to  call  it— had 
looked  at  him  with  eyes  like 
little  bits  of  his  brown  velvet 
tunic,  and  answered — 
"  No,  darling,  I  won't." 
She,  being  in  the  nature  of 
a  goddess,  little  Jon  was  sat- 
isfied ;  especially  when,  from 
under  the  dining-table  at 
breakfast,  where  he  happened 
to  be  waiting  for  a  mush- 
room, he  had  overheard  her 
say  to  his  father — 

Then,     will      yoti      tell 
Da,'     dear,     or     shall      I  ? 


•^^9^4f7f=9-umKjAo^4^5.3<^A^° 


s 


-y 


To  UTjeli^lo"^  oiw  hi*  Irath. 

aS  Vfe  (iColBev.JoIfy,  «nig^il 


AWAKENING 


She's  so  devoted  to  him  " ;    and  his  father's 
answer — 

"  Well,  she  mustn't  show  it  that  way.  I 
know  exactly  what  it  feels  like  to  be  held  down 
on  one's  back.  No  Forsyte  can  stand  it  for  a 
minute." 

Conscious  that  they  did  not  know  him  to 
be  under  the  table,  little  Jon  was  visited  by 
the  quite  new  feeling  of  embarrassment,  and 
stayed  where  he  was,  ravaged  by  desire  for  the 
mushroom. 

Such  had  been  his  first  dip  into  the  dark 
abysses  of  existence.  Nothing  much  had  been 
revealed  to  him  after  that,  till  one  day,  having 
gone  down  to  the  cow-house  for  his  drink  of 
milk  fresh  from  the  cow,  after  Garratt  had 
finished  milking,  he  had  seen  Clover's  calf, 
dead.  Inconsolable,  and  followed  by  an  upset 
Garratt,  he  had  sought  "  Da  " ;  but  suddenly 
aware  that  she  was  not  the  person  he  wanted, 
had  rushed  away  to  find  his  father,  and 
had  run  into  the  arms  of  his  mother. 

"Clover's   calf's   dead!    Oh!    Oh!     It 
looked  so  soft !  " 

His  mother's  clasp,  and  her — 

"  Yes,  darling,  there,  there !  "  had  stayed 
his  sobbing.    But  if  Clover's  calf  could 


Tl>«  aty«ft8   ej"  CxisJtn.c« 


H 


AWAKENING 


die,  anything  could — not  only  bees,  flies,  beetles 
and  chickens — and  look  soft  like  that  I  This 
was  appalling — and  soon  forgotten  ! 

The  next  thing  had  been  to  sit  on  a  bumble 
bee,  a  poignant  experience,  which  his  mother 
had  understood  much  better  than  "  Da " ; 
and  nothing  of  vital  importance  had  happened 
after  that  till  the  year  turned ;  when,  following 
a  day  of  utter  wretchedness,  he  had  enjoyed 
a  disease  composed  of  little  spots,  bed,  honey 
in  a  spoon,  and  many  Tangerine  oranges.  It 
was  then  that  the  world  had  flowered.  To 
"Auntie"  June,  he  owed  that  flowering,  for 
no  sooner  was  he  a  little  lame  duck  than  she 
came  rushing  down  from  London,  bringing 
with  her  the  books  which  had  nurtured  her 
own  Berserker  spirit,  born  in  the  noted  year 
of   1870.    Aged,  and  of  many  colours,  they 


Dei,{;on£y,Tdr.otriTies    <»-  'S^cJi 


AWAKENING 


were  stored  with  the  most  formidable  happen- 
ings. Of  these  she  read  to  little  Jon,  till  he 
was  allowed  to  read  to  himself;  whereupon 
she  whisked  back  to  London  and  left  them 
with  him  in  a  heap.    Those  books  cooked  his 


-sftr 


i6 


AWAKENING 


fancy,  till  he  thought  and  dreamed  of  nothing 
but  midshipmen  and  dhows,  pirates,  rafts, 
sandal-wood  traders,  iron  horses,  sharks,  battles, 
Tartars,  Red  Indians,  balloons.  North  Poles 
and  other  extravagant  delights.  The  moment 
he  was  suffered  to  get  up,  he  rigged  his  bed 
fore  and  aft,  and  set  out  from  it  in  a  narrow 


->^ "cjsr "V" 

THE    JOLLY   ROCjEf?  "  UNDER    sniu    . 


^\^.. 


AWAKENING 


17 


5»^; 


Sat 


bath  across  green  seas  of  carpet,  to  a  rock, 
which  he  cHmbed  by  means  of  its  maho- 
gany drawer  knobs,  to  sweep  the  horizon  with 
his  drinking  tumbler  screwed  to  his  eye,  in 
search  of  rescuing  sails.  He  made  a  daily  raft 
out  of  the  towel  stand,  the  tea  tray,  and  his  pil- 
lows. He  saved  the  juice  from  his  French 
plums,  bottled  it  in  an  empty  medicine  bottle, 
and  provisioned  the  raft  with  the  rum  that  it 
became;  also  with  pemmican  made  out  of 
little  saved-up  bits  of  chicken  sat  on  and  dried 
at  the  fire ;  and  with  lime  juice  against  scurvy, 
extracted  from  the  peel  of  his  oranges  and  a 
little  economised  juice.  He  made  a  North 
Pole  one  morning  from  the  whole  of  his  bed- 
clothes except  the  bolster,  and  reached  it  in 
a  birch-bark  canoe  (in  private  life  the  fender), 
after  a  terrible  encounter  with  a  polar  bear 
fashioned  from  the  bolster  and  four  skittles 
dressed  up  in  "  Da's "  nightgown.  After 
that,  his  father,  seeking  to  steady  his  imagina- 
tion, brought  him  IvanJwe,  Bevis,  a  book  about 
King  Arthur,  and  Tom  Brown's  Schooldays. 
He  read  the  first,  and  for  three  days  built, 
defended  and  stormed  Front  de  Boeuf's  castle. 


•-ni 


d.i{ti.    it    ^6    fit*. 


i8 


Who    ^rmMTld 

AWAKENING 


taking  every  part  in  the  piece  except  those  of 
Rebecca  and  Rowena ;  with  piercing  cries  of : 
"  En  avail t,  de  Bracy !  "  and  similar  utter- 
ances. After  reading  the  book  about  King 
Arthur  he  became  almost  exclusively  Sir 
Lamorac  de  Galis,  because,  though  there  was 
very  little  about  him,  he  preferred  his  name 
to  that  of  any  other  knight ;  and  he  rode  his 
old  rocking-horse  to  death,  armed  with  a  long 
bamboo.  Bevis  he  found  tame;  besides,  it 
required  woods  and  animals,  of  which  he  had 
none  in  his  nursery,  except  his  two  cats,  Fitz 
and  Puck  Forsyte,  who  permitted  no  liberties. 
For  Tom  Brown  he  was  as  yet  too  young. 
There  was  relief  in  the  house  when,  after  the 


KeSt    kis  rockJTio  •  hoi-6t 


H.WV  k   i,  Y ' 


AWAKENING 


fourth  week,  he  was  permitted  to  go  down 
and  out. 

The  month  being  March  the  trees  were 
exceptionally  like  the  masts  of  ships,  and  for 
little  Jon  that  was  a  wonderful  Spring,  ex- 
tremely hard  on  his  knees,  suits,  and  the 
patience  of  "  Da,"  who  had  the  washing  and 
reparation  of  his  clothes.  Every  morning  the 
moment  his  breakfast  was  over,  he  could  be 
viewed  by  his  mother  and  father,  whose 
windows  looked  out  that  way,  coming  from 
the  study,  crossing  the  terrace,  climbing  the 
old  oak  tree,  his  face  resolute  and  his  hair 
bright.     He  began  the  day  thus  because  there 


.-...^fo  JjtaTE  . 


20 


AWAKENING 


was  not  time  to  go  far  afield  before  his  lessons. 
The  old  tree's  variety  never  staled ;  it  had 
mainmast,  foremast,  top-gallant  mast,  and  he 
could  always  come  down  by  the  halyards— 
or  ropes  of  the  swing.  After  his  lessons, 
completed  by  eleven,  he  would  go  to  the 
kitchen  for  a  thin  piece  of  cheese,  a  biscuit 
and  two  French  plums — provision  enough  for 
a  jolly-boat  at  least — and  eat  it  in  some 
imaginative  way ;  then,  armed  to  the  teeth 
with  gun,  pistols,  and  sword,  he  would  begin 
the  serious  climbing  of  the  morning,  en- 
countering by  the  way  innumerable  slavers, 
Indians,  pirates,  leopards,  and  bears.  He  was 
seldom  seen  at  that  hour  of  the  day  without 
a  cutlass  in  his  teeth  (like  Dick  Needham) 
amid  the  rapid  explosion  of  copper  caps.  And 
many  were  the  gardeners  he  brought  down 
with  yellow  peas  shot  out  of  his  little  gun. 
He  lived  a  life  of  the  most  violent  action. 

"  Jon,"  said  his  father  to  his  mother,  under 
the  oak  tree,  "is  terrible.  I'm  afraid  he's 
going  to  turn  out  a  sailor,  or  something  hope- 
less. Do  you  see  ahy  sign  of  his  appreciating 
beauty  ?  " 

"  Not  the  faintest." 

"  Well,    thank    heaven    he's    no    turn    for 


Provision     tnouo^      S^'    *■    rf*">"^*^  "^  U«if* 


AWAKENING 


wheels  or  engines  I  I  can  bear  anything  but 
that.  But  I  wish  he'd  take  more  interest  in 
Nature." 

"  He's  imaginative,  Jolyon." 

"Yes,  in  a  sanguinary  way.  Does  he  love 
anyone  just  now  ?  " 

"  No ;  only  everyone.  There  never  was 
anyone  born  more  loving  or  more  lovable 
than  Jon." 

"  Being  your  boy,  Irene." 

At  this  moment  little  Jon,  lying  along  a 
branch  high  above  them,  brought  them  down 
with  two  peas ;  but  that  fragment  of  talk 
lodged,  thick,  in  his  small  gizzard.  Loving, 
lovable,  imaginative,  sanguinary ! 

The  leaves  also  were  thick  by  now,  and  it 
was  time  for  his  birthday,  which,  occurring 
every  year  on  the  twelfth  of  May,  was  always 
memorable  for  his  chosen  dinner  of  sweet- 
bread, mushrooms,  macaroons,  and  ginger 
beer. 

Between  that  eighth  birthday,  however,  and 
the  afternoon  when  he  stood  in  the  July 
radiance  at  the  turning  of  the  stairway,  several 
important  things  had  happened. 

"  Da,"  worn  out  by  washing  his  knees,  or 
moved    by   that    mysterious    instinct   which 


AWAKENING 


Till^ 


^usic-bili 


forces  even  nurses  to  desert  their  nurslings, 
left  the  very  day  after  his  birthday  in  floods 
of  tears  "to  be  married" — of  all  things — "to 
a  man."    Little  Jon,  from  whom  it  had  been 
kept,  was  inconsolable  for  an  afternoon.     It 
ought  not  to  have  been  kept  from  him  !    Two 
large  boxes  of  soldiers,  and  some  artillery, 
together  with  The  Young  Buglers,  which  had 
been  among  his  birthday  presents,  co-operated 
with  his  grief  in  a  sort  of  conversion,  and 
instead  of  seeking  adventures  in  person  and 
risking  his  own  life,  he  began  to  play  imagina- 
tive games,  in  which  he  risked  the  lives  of 
countless    tin   soldiers,  marbles,  stones  and 
beans.    Of  these  forms  of  "  chair  a  cano7t  " 
he  made  collections,  and,  using  them  altern- 
ately, fought  the  Peninsular,  the  Seven  Years, 
the  Thirty  Years,  and  other  wars,  about  which 
he  had  been  reading  of  late  in  a  big  History 
of  Europe  which  had  been  his  grandfather's. 
He  altered  them  to  suit  his  genius,  and  fought 
them  all  over  the  floor  in  his  day  nursery,  so 
that  nobody  could  come  in,  for  fearing  of  dis- 
turbing Gustavus  Adolphus,  King  of  Sweden, 
or  treading  on  an  army  of  Austrians.    Be- 
cause of  the  sound  of  the  word  he  was  passion- 
ately addicted  to  the  Austrians,  and  finding 


<JilSrntfvV 


AWAKENING 


there  were  so  few  battles  in  which  they  were 
successful  he  had  to  invent  them  in  his  games. 
His  favourite  generals  were  Prince  Eugene, 
the  Archduke  Charles  and  Wallenstein.  Tilly 
and  Mack  ("music-hall  turns"  he  heard  his 
father  call  them  one  day,  whatever  that  might 
mean)  one  really  could  not  love  very  much, 
Austrian  though  they  were.  For  euphonic 
reasons,  too,  he  doted  on  Turenne. 

This  phase,  which  caused  his  parents 
anxiety,  because  it  kept  him  indoors  when 
he  ought  to  have  been  out,  lasted  through 
May  and  half  of  June,  till  his  father  killed 
it  by  bringing  home  to  him  Tom  Sawyer  and 
Huckleberry  Finn.  When  he  read  those  books 
something  happened  in  him,  and  he  went  out 
of  doors  again  in  passionate  quest  of  a  river. 
There  being  none  on  the  premises  at  Robin 
Hill,  he  had  to  make  one  out  of  the  pond, 
which  fortunately  had  water  lilies,  dragon- 
flies,  gnats,  buUrushes,  and  three  small  willow 
trees.  On  this  pond,  after  his  father  and 
Garratt  had  ascertained  by  sounding  that  it 
had  a  reliable  bottom  and  was  nowhere  more 
than  two  feet  deep,  he  was  allowed  a  little 
collapsible  canoe,  in  which  he  spent  hours 
and  hours  paddling,  and  lying  down  out  of 


Matk. 


rurn.& 


^ 


^\\i.i.    it"    \rf    h^na'-,^    hoitie   to   bm     Tom.  Sdyvytr    ^    '  HucViUUfy   F„ 


24 


AWAKENING 


sight  of  Indian  Joe  and  other  enemies.  On 
the  shore  of  the  pond,  too,  he  built  himself  a 
wigwam  about  four  feet  square,  of  old  biscuit 
tins,  roofed  in  by  boughs.  In  this  he  would 
make  little  fires,  and  cook  the  birds  he  had 
not  shot  with  his  gun,  hunting  in  the  coppice 


-     7U  *«*'••  Ai  ••'^  "^ 


AWAKENING 


25 


'    '1 


and  fields,  or  the  fish  he  did  not  catch  in  the 
pond  because  there  were  none.  This  occupied 
the  rest  of  June  and  that  July,  when  his  father 
and  mother  were  away  in  Ireland.  He  led  a 
lonely  life  of  "make  believe"  during  those 
five  weeks  of  summer  weather,  with  gun, 
wigwam,  water  and  canoe;  and,  however 
hard  his  active  little  brain  tried  to  keep  the 
sense  of  beauty  away,  she  did  creep  in  on  him 
for  a  second  now  and  then,  perching  on  the 
wing  of  a  dragonfly,  glistening  on  the  water 
lilies,  or  brushing  his  eyes  with  her  blue  as 
he  lay  on  his  back  in  ambush. 

"Auntie"  June,  who  had  been  left  in 
charge,  had  a  "grown-up"  in  the  house,  with 
a  cough  and  a  large  piece  of  putty  which  he 
was  making  into  a  face;  so  she  hardly  ever 
came  down  to  see  him  in  the  pond.  Once, 
however,  she  brought  with  her  two  other 
"grown-ups."  Little  Jon,  who  happened  to 
have  painted  his  naked  self  bright  blue  and 

T))8  Wigwanu 


I>^  Jtjfc    TioT  yr«&  fici^ 


«te  it  »«oIIy   loeke j , 


As   Jm    M»    I 


Ltric    Jan'i     jMni- 


Vtrt.uIU 


flTlRStCrum. 


26 


AWAKENING 


yellow  in  stripes  out  of  his  father's  water- 
colour  box,  and  put  some  duck's  feathers  in 
his  hair,  saw  them  coming,  and  ambushed 
himself  among  the  willows.  As  he  had  fore- 
seen, they  came  at  once  to  his  wigwam  and 
knelt  down  to  look  inside,  so  that  with  a 
blood-curdling  yell  he  was  able  to  take  the 
scalps  of  "Auntie"  June  and  the  woman 
"  grown-up "  in  an  almost  complete  manner 
before  they  kissed  him.  The  names  of  the 
two  grown-ups  were  "  Auntie "  Holly  and 
"  Uncle  "  Val,  who  had  a  brown  face  and  a 
little  limp,  and  laughed  at  him  terribly.  He 
took  a  fancy  to  "  Auntie  "  Holly,  who  seemed 
to  be  a  sister  too;  but  they  both  went  away 
the  same  afternoon  and  he  did  not  see  them 


V«I""    jl'iif"' 


0'*f»»fc. 


RotJt» 


AWAKENING 


27 


again.  Three  days  before  his  father  and 
mother  were  to  come  home  "  Auntie  "  June 
also  went  off  in  a  great  hurry,  taking  the 
"  grown-up  "  who  coughed  and  his  piece  of 
putty;  and  Mademoiselle  said,:  "Poor  man, 
he  was  veree  ill.  I  forbid  you  to  go  into  his 
room,  Jon."  Little  Jon,  who  rarely  did  things 
merely  because  he  was  told  not  to,  refrained 
from  going,  though  he  was  bored  and  lonely. 
In  truth  the  day  of  the  pond  was  past,  and  he 
was  filled  to  the  brim  of  his  soul  with  rest- 
lessness and  the  want  of  something— not  a 
tree,  not  a  gun — something  soft.  Those  last 
two  days  had  seemed  like  months  in  spite  of 
Cast  up  by  the  Sea,  wherein  he  was  reading 
about  Mother  Lee  and  her  terrible  wrecking 


S 

c 

A 
L 
P 
5 


'Sk^ — 


\ 


V 


28  AWAKENING 

bonfire.  He  had  gone  up  and  down  the  stairs 
perhaps  a  hundred  times  in  those  two  days, 
and  often  from  the  day  nursery  where  he  slept 
now,  had  stolen  into  his  mother's  room,  looked 
at  everything,  without  touching,  and  on  into 
the  dressing-room ;  and  standing  on  one  leg 
beside  the  bath,  like  Slingsby,  had  whispered — 

'•  Ho,  ho,  ho!  Dog  my  cats,"  mysteriously, 
to  bring  luck.  Then,  stealing  back,  he  had 
opened  his  mother's  wardrobe,  and  taken  a 
long  sniff  which  seemed  to  bring  him  nearer 
to — he  didn't  know  what. 

He  had  done  this  just  before  he  stood  in 
the  streak  of  sunlight,  debating  in  which  of 
the  several  ways  he  should  slide  down  the 
banisters.  They  all  seemed  silly,  and  in  a 
sudden  languor  he  began  descending  the  steps 
one  by  one.  During  that  descent  he  could 
remember  his  father  quite  distinctly—the  short 
grey  beard,  the  deep  eyes  twinkling,  the  furrow 
between  them,  the  funny  smile,  the  thin  figure 
which  always  seemed  so  tall  to  little  Jon;  but 
his  mother  he  couldn't  see.  All  that  repre- 
sented her  was  something  swaying  with  two 
dark  eyes  looking  back  at  him;  and  the  scent 
of  her  wardrobe. 

Bella  was  in  the  hall,  drawing  aside  the  big 


J-fiM  " 


"'^^'^  '^    ^^    ^ 


D"^     Wy    Clfe 


AWAKENING 


29 


curtains,  and  opening  the  front  door.     Little 
Jon  said,  wheedling — 

"Bella!" 

"  Yes,  Master  Jon." 

"  Do  let's  have  tea  under  the  oak  tree  when 
they  come;  I  know  they'd  like  it  best." 

"  You  mean  yoit'd  like  it  best." 

Little  Jon  considered. 

"  No,  they  would,  to  please  me." 

Bella  smiled.  "Very  well,  I'll  take  it  out 
if  you'll  stay  quiet  here  and  not  get  into 
mischief  before  they  come." 

Little  Jon  sat  down  on  the  bottom  step, 
and  nodded.  Bella  came  close,  and  looked 
him  over. 

"  Get  up !  "  she  said. 

Little  Jon  got  up.  She  scrutinized  him 
behind ;  he  was  not  green,  and  his  knees 
seemed  clean. 

"  All  right !  "  she  said.  "  My !  Aren't  you 
brown  ?    Give  me  a  kiss ! " 

And  little  Jon  received  a  peck  on  his  hair. 

"What  jam?"  he  asked.  "  I'm  so  tired  of 
waiting." 

"  Gooseberry  and  strawberry." 


Mt  Mt»  tuT"  g'»»>i. . 


30 


AWAKENING 


Num !    They  were  his  favourites ! 
When  she  was  gone  he  sat  still  for  quite  a 
minute.    It  was  quiet  in  the  big  hall  open  to 


,<r"'^i 


fe=^ 


1 


AWAKENING 


31 


its  East  end  so  that  he  could  see  one  of  his 
trees,  a  brig  sailing  very  slowly  across  the 
upper  lawn.     In  the  outer  hall  shadows  were 


—  The  -•• 


k 


■Br^ 


32 


AWAKENING 


triti  ft    C«tJ»    Soma  , 


Sir 

Tt-isTra'ii- 


60  r-lQii*mo.b  tljle] 


ho^  Taid.  hiTnJ 


slanting  from  the  pillars.  Little  Jon  got  up, 
jumped  one  of  them,  and  walked  round  the 
clump  of  iris  plants  which  filled  the  pool  of 
grey-white  marble  in  the  centre.  The  flowers 
were  pretty,  but  only  smelled  a  very  little.  He 
stood  in  the  open  doorway  and  looked  out. 
Suppose ! — suppose  they  didn't  come !  He 
had  waited  so  long  that  he  felt  he  could  not 
bear  that,  and  his  attention  slid  at  once  from 
such  finality  to  the  dust  motes  in  the  bluish 
sunlight  coming  in.  Thrusting  his  hand  up, 
he  tried  to  catch  some.  Bella  ought  to  have 
dusted  that  piece  of  air!  But  perhaps  they 
weren't  dust — only  what  sunlight  was  made 
of,  and  he  looked  to  see  whether  the  sunlight 
out  of  doors  was  the  same.  It  was  not.  He 
had  said  he  would  stay  quiet  in  the  hall,  but 
he  simply  couldn't  any  more;  and  crossing 
the  gravel  of  the  drive  he  lay  down  on  the 
grass  beyond.  Pulling  six  daisies  he  named 
them  carefully.  Sir  Lamorac,  Sir  Tristram, 
Sir  Lancelot,  Sir  Palimedes,  Sir  Bors,  Sir 
Gawain,  and  fought  them  in  couples  till  only 
Sir  Lamorac,  whom  he  had  selected  for  a 
specially  stout  stalk,  had  his  head  on,  and  even 
he,  after  three  encounters,  looked  worn  and 
waggly.    A  beetle  was  moving  slowly  in  the 


THE         FLOWER        or       THE       RouMD-TflBLE 

sis 


\  '  / 


I  ft  doit  Stlt"'"'J 


AWAKENING 


33 


grass,  which  almost  wanted  cutting.  Every 
blade  was  a  small  tree,  round  whose  trunk 
the  beetle  had  to  glide.  Little  Jon  stretched 
out  Sir  Lamorac,  feet  foremost,  and  stirred 
the  creature  up.  It  scuttled  painfully.  Little 
Jon  laughed,  lost  interest,  and  sighed.  His 
heart  felt  empty.  He  turned  over  and  lay  on 
his  back.  There  was  a  scent  of  honey  from 
the  lime  trees  in  flower,  and  in  the  sky  the 
blue  was  beautiful,  with  a  few  white  clouds 
which  looked  and  perhaps  tasted  like  lemon 
ice.  He  could  hear  Bob  playing :  "  Way 
down  upon  de  Suwannee  ribber  "  on  his  con- 
certina, and  it  made  him  nice  and  sad.  He 
turned  over  again  and  put  his  ear  to  the 
ground — Indians  could  hear  things  coming 
ever  so  far — but  he  could  hear  nothing — only 
the  concertina  I  And  almost  instantly  he  did 
hear  a  grinding  sound,  a  faint  toot.  Yes !  it 
was  a  car — coming — coming  I  Up  he  jumped. 
Should  he  wait  in  the  porch,  or  rush  upstairs, 
and  as  they  came  in,  shout :  "  Look  1 "  and 
slide  slowly  down  the  banisters,  head  fore- 
most? Should  he?  The  car  turned  in  at 
the  drive.  It  was  too  late!  And  he  only 
waited,  jumping  up  and  down  in  his  excite- 
ment.   The  car  came  quickly,  whirred,  and 


byi.n'n£,y     riittr 


VlC£. 


•-  &di^ 


5wTn»tV»m, 


Si»  B«ri. 


5„  UtK^ur. 


S.»  '"^l.WiM. 


5,v   l-»woir«t. 


SU  («•«*•«. 


4.  --^ 


R.5- 


AWAKENING 


35 


stopped.  His  father  got  out,  exactly  like  life. 
He  bent  down  and  little  Jon  bobbed  up— they 
bumped.     His  father  said — 

"  Bless  us  I  Well,  old  man,  you  are 
brown!"  just  as  he  would;  and  the  sense 
of  expectation— of  something  wanted— bubbled 
unextinguished  in  little  Jon.  Then,  with  a 
long,  shy  look  he  saw  his  mother,  in  a  blue 
dress,  with  a  blue  motor  scarf  over  her  cap 
and  hair,  smiling.  He  jumped  as  high  as 
ever  he  could,  twined  his  legs  behind  her 
back,  and  hugged.  He  heard  her  gasp,  and 
felt  her  hugging  back.  His  eyes  very  dark 
blue  just  then,  looked  into  hers,  very  dark 
brown,  till  her  lips  closed  on  his  eyebrow, 
and,  squeezing  with  all  his  might  he  heard 
her  creak  and  laugh,  and  say — 

•'  You  are  strong,  Jon  ! " 

He  slid  down  at  that,  and  rushed  into  the 
hall,  dragging  her  by  the  hand. 

While  he  was  eating  his  jam  beneath  the 
oak  tree,  he  noticed  things  about  his  mother 
that  he  had  never  seemed  to  see  before,  her 
cheeks  for  instance  were  creamy,  there  were 
silver  threads  in  her  dark  goldy  hair,  her 
throat  had  no  knob  in  it  like  Bella's,  and  she 
went   in   and  out   softly.     He   noticed,  too, 


i^^%b^  tev 


36 


AWAKENING 


some  little  lines  running  away  from  the  corners 
of  her  eyes,  and  a  nice  darkness  under  them. 
She  was  ever  so  beautiful,  more  beautiful 
than  "Da"  or  Mademoiselle,  or  "Auntie" 
June  or  even  "Auntie"  Holly,  to  whom  he 
had  taken  a  fancy ;  even  more  beautiful  than 
Bella,  who  had  pink  cheeks  and  came  out  too 
suddenly  in  places.  This  new  beautifulness 
of  his  mother  had  a  kind  of  particular  im- 
portance, and  he  ate  less  than  he  had  expected 
to. 

When  tea  was  over  his  father  wanted  him 
to  walk  round  the  gardens.     He  had  a  long 
conversation  with  his  father  about  things  in 
general,  avoiding  his  private  life — Sir  Lamorac, 
the  Austrians,  and  the  emptiness  he  had  felt 
these  last  three  days,  now  so  suddenly  filled 
up.     His  father  told  him  of  a  place  called 
Glensofantrim,  where  he  and  his  mother  had 
been ;  and  of  the  little  people  who  came  out 
of  the  ground  there  when  it  was  very  quiet. 
Little  Jon  came  to  a  halt,  with  his  heels  apart. 
"  Do  you  really  believe  they  do.  Daddy  ?  " 
"  No,  Jon,  but  I  thought  you  might." 
"Why?" 

"  You're    younger    than     I  ;    and    they're 
fairies. ' 


AWAKENING 


37 


Little  Jon  squared  the  dimple  in  his  chin. 

"  I  don't  believe  in  fairies.  I  never  see 
any." 

"  Ha!"  said  his  father. 

"Does  Mum?" 

His  father  smiled  his  funny  smile. 

"  No;  she  only  sees  Pan." 

"What's  Pan?" 

"  The  Goaty  God  who  skips  about  in  wild 
and  beautiful  places." 

"  Was  he  in  Glensofantrim  ?  " 

"  Mum  said  so." 

Little  Jon  took  his  heels  up,  and  led  on. 

"  Did  you  see  him?  " 

"  No;  I  only  saw  Venus  Anadyomene." 

Little  Jon  reflected ;  Venus  was  in  his  book 
about  the  Greeks  and  Trojans.  Then  Anna 
was  her  Christian  and  Dyomene  her  surname  ? 
But  it  appeared,  on  inquiry,  that  it  was  one 
word,  which  meant  rising  from  the  foam. 

'  Did  she  rise  from  the  foam  in  Glenso- 
fantrim? " 

"  Yes  ;  every  day." 

"  What  is  she  like.  Daddy  ?  " 

"  Like  Mum." 

"  Oh !     Then    she    must    be "    but    he 

stopped  at  that,  rushed  at  a  wall,  scrambled 


?nN, 


38 


AWAKENING 


up,  and  promptly  scrambled  down  again. 
The  discovery  that  his  mother  was  beautiful 
was  one  which  he  felt  must  absolutely  be  kept 
to  himself.  His  father's  cigar,  however,  took 
so  long  to  smoke,  that  at  last  he  was  compelled 
to  say — 

"  I  want  to  see  what  Mum's  brought  home. 
Do  you  mind,  Daddy  ?  " 

He  pitched  the  motive  low,  to  absolve  him 
from  unmanliness,  and  was  a  little  discon- 
certed when  his  father  looked  at  him  right 
through,  heaved  an  important  sigh,  and  an- 
swered— 

"  All  right,  old  man,  you  go  and  love 
her." 

He  went,  with  a  pretence  of  slowness,  and 
then  rushed,  to  make  up.  He  entered  her 
bedroom  from  his  own,  the  door  being  open. 
She  was  still  kneeling  before  a  trunk,  and  he 
stood  close  to  her,  quite  still. 

She  knelt  up  straight,  and  said — 

"  Well,  Jon  ?  " 

"  I  thought  I'd  just  come  and  see." 

Having  given  and  received  another  hug,  he 
mounted  the  window-seat,  and  tucking  his 
legs  up  under  him,  watched  her  unpack.  He 
derived  a  pleasure  from  the  operation  such  as 


AWAKENING 


39 


he  had  not  yet  known,  partly  because  she  was 
taking  out  things  which  looked  suspicious, 
and  partly  because  he  liked  to  look  at  her. 
She  moved  differently  from  anybody  else, 
especially  from  Bella;  she  was  certainly  the 
refinedest-looking  person  he  had  ever  seen. 
She  finished  the  trunk  at  last,  and  knelt  down 
in  front  of  him. 

"  Have  you  missed  us,  Jon  ?  " 

Little  Jon  nodded,  and  having  thus  admitted 
his  feelings,  continued  to  nod. 

"  But  you  had  '  Auntie  '  June?  " 

"  Oh  !  she  had  a  man  with  a  cough." 

His  mother's  face  changed,  and  looked 
almost  angry.    He  added  hastily — 

"  He  was  a  poor  man.  Mum;  he  coughed 
awfully;  I — I  liked  him." 

His  mother  put  her  hands  behind  his  waist. 

"  You  like  everybody,  Jon  ?  " 

Little  Jon  considered. 

"  Up  to  a  point,"  he  said:  "  'Auntie'  June 
took  me  to  church  one  Sunday." 

"To  church?    Oh!" 

"  She  wanted  to  see  how  it  would  affect 


me. 


t-LVktl   h'm.  ,. 


Vllra  «   cougfc    a^i    0.  |»tM   ^    ^fly     he  <>M  miVA-    i.f.    t    ^ 


\>i4^; 


-/ 


\\ 


40 


AWAKENING 


"And  did  it?" 

"  Yes.  I  came  over  all  funny,  so  she  took 
me  home  again  very  quick.  I  wasn't  sick  after 
all.  I  went  to  bed  and  had  hot  brandy  and 
water,  and  read  The  Boys  of  Beechwood.  It 
was  scrumptious." 

His  mother  bit  her  lip. 

"When  was  that?" 

"  Oh  !  about — a  long  time  ago — I  wanted 
her  to  take  me  again,  but  she  wouldn't.  You 
and  Daddy  never  go  to  church,  do  you  ?  " 

"  No,  we  don't." 

"  Why  don't  you  ?  " 

His  mother  smiled. 

"  Well,  dear,  we  both  of  us  went  when  we 
were  little.  Perhaps  we  went  when  we  were 
too  little." 

"  I  see,"  said  little  Jon,  "  it's  dangerous." 

"  You  shall  judge  for  yourself  about  all 
those  things  as  you  grow  up." 

Little  Jon  replied  in  a  calculating  manner — 

"  I  don't  want  to  grow  up,  much.  I  don't 
want  to  go  to  school."  A  sudden  overwhelm- 
ing desire  to  say  something  more,  to  say  what 


.  To     gf-O^K/      D^ 


_'     »  «. 


vyfent"    wbeTi._    w£  wer&    tio    LTifc 


.^' 


-0- 


.^^^   A^-^ 


\ 


<^-" 


^ 


42 


AWAKENING 


^Tr 


^ 


« 


% 


he  really  felt,  turned  him  red.    "  I — I  want 
to  stay  with  you,  and  be  your  lover,  Mum." 

Then  with  an  instinct  to  improve  the  situa- 
tion, he  added  quickly — 

"  I  don't  want  to  go  to  bed  to-night,  either. 
I'm  simply  tired  of  going  to  bed,  every  night." 

"  Have  you  had  any  more  nightmares?  " 

"  Only  about  one.  May  I  leave  the  door 
open  into  your  room  to-night.  Mum  ?  " 

"  Yes,  just  a  little." 

Little  Jon  heaved  a  sigh  of  satisfaction. 

"  What  did  you  see  in  Glensofantrim  ?  " 

"  Nothing  but  beauty,  darling." 

"  What  exactly  is  beauty?  " 

"What  exactly  is—  Oh!  Jon,  that's  a 
poser." 

"  Can  I  see  it,  for  instance?  " 

His  mother  got  up,  and  sat  beside  him. 

"  You  do,  every  day.  The  sky  is  beautiful, 
the  stars,  and  moonlit  nights,  and  then  the 
birds,  the  flowers,  the  trees^they're  all  beauti- 
ful. Look  out  of  the  window — there's  beauty 
for  you,  Jon." 

■  Oh !  yes,  that's  the  view.    Is  that  all  ?  " 

"  All  ?  no.  The  sea  is  wonderfully  beautiful, 
and  the  waves,  with  their  foam  flying  back." 

"  Did  you  rise  from  it  every  day,  Mum  ?  " 


Mow   T^e    &rars     a»%     tcr" . , 


AWAKENING 


43 


His  mother  smiled.    "  Well,  we  bathed." 
Little  Jon  suddenly  reached  out  and  caught 

her  neck  in  his  hands. 
"  /  know,  "  he  said  mysteriously,  "  you're  it, 

really,  and  all  the  rest  is  make-believe." 


■^. 


v;--^'  V 1  /:4 


^'' 


4S 


46 


AWAKENING 


She  sighed,  laughed,  said : 

"Oh!  Jon!" 

Little  Jon  said  critically: 

"  Do  you  think  Bella  beautiful,  for  instance? 
I  hardly  do." 

"  Bella  is  young;  that's  something." 

"  But  you  look  younger,  Mum.  If  you 
bump  against  Bella  she  hurts.    I  don't  believe 


Do   You    think  BeUd    IrftautifuL      .. 


AWAKENING  47 

'  Da '  was  beautiful,  when  I  come  to  think  of 
it ;  and  Mademoiselle's  almost  ugly." 

"  Mademoiselle  has  a  very  nice  face." 

"  Oh  !  yes ;  nice.  I  love  your  little  rays, 
Mum." 

"Rays?" 

Little  Jon  put  his  finger  to  the  outer  corner 
of  her  eye. 

"  Oh  !  Those  ?  But  they're  a  sign  of  age." 

"  They  come  when  you  smile." 

"  But  they  usen't  to." 

"  Oh !  well,  I  like  them.  Do  you  love  me, 
Mum?" 

"  I  do— I  do  love  you,  darling." 

"  Ever  so?  " 

"  Ever  so !  " 

"  More  than  I  thought  you  did?  " 

"  Much — much  more." 

"  Well,  so  do  I ;  so  that  makes  it  even." 

Conscious  that  he  had  never  in  his  life  so 
given  himself  away,  he  felt  a  sudden  reaction 
to  the  manliness  of  Sir  Lamorac,  Dick  Need- 
ham,  Huck  Finn,  and  other  heroes. 

"Shall  I  show  you  a  thing  or  two?"  he 
said;  and  slipping  out  of  her  arms,  he  stood 
on  his  head.  Then  fired  by  her  obvious 
admiration,  he  mounted  the  bed,  and  threw 


fi  Itima  —it 


-4^ 


c 


? 


48  AWAKENING 

)^  himself  head  foremost  from  his  feet  on  to  his 

'>^^  back,   without   touching   anything   with   his 

"%  hands.     He  did  this  several  times. 

'^  That  evening,  having  inspected  what  they 

had  brought,  he  stayed  up  to  dinner,  sitting 
between  them  at  the  little  round  table  they 
used  when  they  were  alone.  He  was  ex- 
tremely excited.  His  mother  wore  a  French- 
grey  dress,  with  creamy  lace  made  out  of  little 
scriggly  roses,  round  her  neck,  which  was 
(  browner  than  the  lace.    He  kept  looking  at 

ez::^^-^^^  her,  till  at  last  his  father's  funny  smile  made 
"CA  him  suddenly  attentive  to  his  slice  of  pineapple. 
It  was  later  than  he  had  ever  stayed  up,  when 
he  went  to  bed.  His  mother  went  up  with 
him,  and  he  undressed  very  slowly  so  as  to 
keep  her  there.  When  at  last  he  had  nothing 
on  but  his  pyjamas,  he  said : 
^T  "  Promise  you  won't  go  while  I   say  my 

prayers ! " 
"  I  promise." 

Kneeling  down  and  plunging  his  face  into 
the  bed,  little  Jon  hurried  up,  under  his 
breath,  opening  one  eye  now  and  then,  to  see 
her  standing  perfectly  still  with  a  smile  on  her 
face.  "  Our  Father  " — so  went  his  last  prayer, 
''  which  art  in  heaven,  hallowed  be  thy  Mum, 


49 


50 


AWAKENING 


thy  Kingdom  Mum — on  Earth  as  it  is  in 
heaven,  give  us  this  day  our  daily  Mum  and 
forgive  us  our  trespasses  on  earth  as  it  is  in 
heaven  and  trespass  against  us,  for  thine  is 
the  evil  the  power  and  the  glory  for  ever  and 
ever.  Amum  !  Look  out !  "  He  sprang,  and 
for  a  long  minute  remained  in  her  arms. 
Once  in  bed,  he  continued  to  hold  her  hand. 

"  You  won't  shut  the  door  any  more  than 
that,  will  you?  Are  you  going  to  be  long, 
Mum?" 

"  I  must  go  down  and  play  to  Daddy." 

"  Oh !  well,  I  shall  hear  you." 

"  I  hope  not ;  you  must  go  to  sleep." 

"  I  can  sleep  any  night." 

"  Well,  this  is  just  a  night  like  any  other." 

"  Oh  !  no— it's  extra  special." 

"  On  extra  special  nights  one  always  sleeps 
soundest." 

"  But  if  I  go  to  sleep.  Mum,  I  shan't  hear 
you  come  up." 

"  Well,  when  I  do,  I'll  come  in  and  give 
you  a  kiss,  then  if  you're  awake  you'll  know, 
and  if  you're  not  you'll  still  know  you've  had 
one." 

Little  Jon  sighed,  "All  right!"   he  said: 


AWAKENING 


51 

Mum?" 


"  I  suppose  I  must  put  up  with  that 

"  Yes  ?  " 

"  What  was  her  name  that  Daddy  beHeves 
in  ?  Venus  Anna  Diomedes?  " 

"  Oh  !  my  angel !  Anadyomene." 

"  Yes  I  but  I  like  my  name  for  you  much 
better." 

"  What  is  yours,  Jon?  " 

Little  Jon  answered  shyly : 

"  Guinevere !  it's  out  of  the  Round 
Table — I've  only  just  thought  of  it,  only 
of  course  her  hair  was  down 

His  mother's  eyes,  looking  past  him, 
seemed  to  float. 

"  You  won't  forget  to  come,  Mum  ?  " 

"  Not  if  you'll  go  to 
sleep." 

"  That's  a  bargain,  then." 
And  little  Jon  screwed  up 
his  eyes. 

He  felt  her  lips  on  his 
forehead,  heard  her  foot- 
steps ;  opened  his  eyes  to 
see  her  gliding  through 
the  doorway,  and,  sigh- 
ing, screwed  them  up 
again. 


Out"  of  tBfc  iBjund-Tdtlfe 


52  AWAKENING 

Then  Time  began. 


AWAKENING 


53 


For  some  ten  minutes  of  it  he  tried  loyally 
to  sleep,  counting  a  great  number  of  thistles  in 
a  row,  "  Da's  "  old  recipe  for  bringing  slumber. 
He  seemed  to  have  been  hours  counting.  It 
must,  he  thought,  be  nearly  time  for  her  to 
come  up  now.  He  threw  the  bedclothes  back. 
"I'm  hot!"  he  said,  and  his  voice  sounded 
funny  in  the  darkness,  like  someone  else's. 
Why  didn't  she  come?  He  sat  up.  He  must 
look  !  He  got  out  of  bed,  went  to  the  window 
and  pulled  the  curtain  a  slice  aside.  It  wasn't 
dark,  but  he  couldn't  tell  whether  because  of 
daylight  or  the  moon,  which  was  very  big. 
It  had  a  funny,  wicked  face,  as  if  laughing 
at  him,  and  he  did  not  want  to  look  at  it. 
Then,  remembering  that  his  mother  had 
said  moonlit  nights  were  beautiful,  he  con- 
tinued to  stare  out  in  a  general  way.  The 
trees  threw  thick  shadows,  the  lawn  looked 
like  spilt  milk,  and  a  long,  long  way  he  could 
see ;  oh  !  very  far ;  right  over  the  world,  and  it 
all  looked  different  and  swimmy.  There  was 
a  lovely  smell,  too,  in  his  open  window. 

"I  wish  I  had  a  dove  like  Noah!  "he 
thought. 

"  The  moony  moon  was  round  and  bright, 
It  shone  and  shone  and  made  it  light." 


^j'-  •//•/«, 


S4 


ft  ridc4*oon 


AWAKENING 


55 


After  that  rhyme,  which  came  into  his  head 
all  at  once,  he  became  conscious  of  music, 
very  soft — lovely!  Mum  playing!  He  be- 
thought himself  of  a  macaroon  he  had,  laid  up 
in  his  chest  of  drawers,  and,  getting  it,  came 
back  to  the  window.  He  leaned  out,  now 
munching,  now  holding  his  jaws  to  hear  the 
music  better.  "  Da  "  used  to  say  that  angels 
played  on  harps  in  heaven;  but  it  wasn't  half 
so  lovely  as  Mum  playing  in  the  moony  night, 
with  him  eating  a  macaroon.  A  cockchafer 
buzzed  by,  a  moth  flew  in  his  face,  the  music 
stopped,  and  little  Jon  drew  his  head  in.    She 


Da  kii   siii 


56 


AWAKENING 


57 


must  be  coming !  He  didn't  want  to  be  found 
awake.  He  got  back  into  bed  and  pulled  the 
clothes  nearly  over  his  head ;  but  he  had  left 
a  streak  of  moonlight  coming  in.  It  fell 
across  the  floor,  near  the  foot  of  the  bed,  and 
he  watched  it  moving  ever  so  slowly  towards 
him,  as  if  it  were  alive.  The  music  began 
again,  but  he  could  only  just  hear  it  now; 
sleepy  music,   pretty — sleepy — music — sleepy 

^slee . 

And  time  slipped  by,  the  music  rose,  fell, 
ceased  ;  the  moonbeam  crept  towards  his  face. 
Little  Jon  turned  in  his  sleep  till  he  lay  on  his 
back,  with  one  brown  fist  still  grasping  the 
bedclothes.  The  corners  of  his  eyes  twitched 
— he  had  begun  to  dream.  He  dreamed  he 
was  drinking  milk  out  of  a  pan  that  was  the 
moon,  opposite  a  great  black  cat  which  watched 
him  with  a  funny  smile  like  his  father's.  He 
heard  it  whisper:  "  Don't  drink  too  much!" 
It  was  the  cat's  milk,  of  course,  and  he  put 
out  his  hand  amicably  to  stroke  the  creature ; 
but  it  was  no  longer  there ;  the  pan  had  become 
a  bed,  in  which  he  was  lying,  and  when  he 
tried  to  get  out  he  couldn't  find  the  edge ;  he 
couldn't  find  it — he — he — couldn't  get  out! 
It  was  dreadful ! 


The 


58 


AWAKENING 


He  whimpered  in  his  sleep.  The  bed  had 
begun  to  go  round  too;  it  was  outside  him  and 
inside  him ;  going  round  and  round,  and 
getting  fiery,  and  Mother  Lee  out  of  Cast 
up    by    the    Sea   was    stirring    it !    Oh !    so 


AWAKENING 


59 


horrible  she  looked !  Faster  and  faster  I — till 
he  and  the  bed  and  Mother  Lee  and  the  moon 
and  the  cat  were  all  one  wheel  going  round 
and  round  and  up  and  up — awful — awful — 
awful ! 


6o 


AWAKENING 


/ 


He  shrieked. 

A  voice  saying:  "Darling,  darling!"  got 
through  the  wheel,  and  he  awoke,  standing  on 
his  bed,  with  his  eyes  wide  open. 

There  was  his  mother,  with  her  hair  like 
Guinevere's,  and,  clutching  her,  he  buried  his 
face  in  it : 

"  Oh  !  oh  !  " 

"  It's  all  right,  treasure.  You're  awake  now. 
There  I    There  !     It's  nothing !  " 

But  little  Jon  continued  to  say :  "  Oh  I  oh  !  " 

Her  voice  went  on,  velvety  in  his  ear : 

"  It  was  the  moonlight,  sweetheart,  coming 
on  your  face." 

Little  Jon  burbled  into  her  nightgown : 

"  You  said  it  was  beautiful.    Oh  !  " 

"Not  to  sleep  in,  Jon.  Who  let  it  in? 
Did  you  draw  the  curtains  ?  " 

"  I  wanted  to  see  the  time;  I — I  looked  out, 
I — I  heard  you  playing,  Mum;  I — I  ate  my 
macaroon."  But  he  was  growing  slowly  com- 
forted ;  and  the  instinct  to  excuse  his  fear 
revived  within  him. 

"  Mother  Lee  went  round  in  me  and  got  all 
fiery,"  he  mumbled. 

"  Well,  Jon,  what  can  you  expect  if  you 
eat  macaroons  after  you've  gone  to  bed  ?  " 


AWAKENING 


6i 


"  Only  one,  Mum;  it  made  the  music  ever 
so  more  beautiful.  I  was  waiting  for  you — I 
nearly  thought  it  was  to-morrow." 

"  My  ducky,  it's  only  just  eleven  now." 

Little  Jon  was  silent,  rubbing  his  nose  on 
her  neck. 

"  Mum,  is  Daddy  in  your  room?  " 

"  Not  to-night." 

"  Can  I  come?  " 

"  If  you  wish,  my  precious." 

Half  himself  again,  little  Jon  drew  back 

"  You  look  different,  M  um ;  ever  so  younger." 

"  It's  my  hair,  darling." 

Little  Jon  laid  hold  of  it,  thick,  dark  gold, 
with  a  few  silver  threads. 

"  I  like  it,"  he  said :  "  I  like  you  best  of  all 
like  this." 

Taking  her  hand,  he  had  begun  dragging 
her  towards  the  door.  He  shut  it  as  they 
passed,  with  a  sigh  of  relief. 

"  Which  side  of  the  bed  do  you  like,  Mum  ?  " 

"  The  left  side." 

"  All  right." 

Wasting  no  time,  giving  her  no  chance  to 
change  her  mind,  little  Jon  got  into  the  bed, 
which  seemed  much  softer  than  his  own.    He 


62 


AWAKENING 


heaved  another  sigh,  screwed  his  head  into  the 
pillow  and  lay  examining  the  battle  of  chariots 
and  swords  and  spears  which  always  went  on 
outside  blankets,  where  the  little  hairs  stood 
up  against  the  light. 

"It  wasn't  anything,  really,  was  it?"  he 
said. 

From  before  her  glass  his  mother  answered: 

"  Nothing  but  the  moon  and  your  imagina- 
tion heated  up.  You  musn't  get  so  excited, 
Jon." 

But,  still  not  quite  in  possession  of  his 
nerves,  little  Jon  answered  boastfully: 

"  I  wasn't  afraid,  really,  of  course!  "  And 
again  he  lay  watching  the  spears  and  chariots. 
It  all  seemed  very  long. 

"  Oh  !  Mum,  do  hurry  up  !  " 

"  Darling,  I  have  to  plait  my  hair." 

"  Oh !  not  to-night.  You'll  only  have  to 
unplait  it  again  to-morrow.  I'm  sleepy  now; 
if  you  don't  come,  I  shan't  be  sleepy  soon." 

His  mother  stood  up  white  and  flowey 
before  the  winged  mirror :  he  could  see  three 
of  her,  with  her  neck  turned  and  her  hair 
bright  under  the  light,  and  her  dark  eyes 
smiling.     It  was  unnecessary,  and  he  said : 

"  Do  come,  Mum  ;  I'm  waiting." 


AWAKENING 


63 


"Very  well,  my  love,  I'll  come." 

Little  Jon  closed  his  eyes.  Everything  was 
turning  out  most  satisfactory,  only  she  must 
hurry  up !  He  felt  the  bed  shake,  she  was 
getting  in.  And,  still  with  his  eyes  closed,  he 
said  sleepily : 

"  It's  nice,  isn't  it?" 

He  heard  her  voice  say  something,  felt  her 
lips  touching  his  nose,  and,  snuggling  up 
beside  her  who  lay  awake  and  loved  him  with 
her  thoughts,  he  fell  into  the  dreamless  sleep, 
which  rounded  off  his  past. 


v.. 


Tm  End 


THE   SCKIBNER  PRESS,   NEW   YOEK 


'i;i  \:::    r  :■•  "i 


5-!" '5';;,  '-"!;,  JK!;'; 


m 


